Becoming Aware of Unconditional Love

Realize You do Love Unconditionally

Today I am offering you one of the exercises in my book At Your Heart’s Pace. This is a practice of observation, of placing your awareness on how, when, and with whom you express love. I suggest you do not judge how long you express such love but rather that you do and have expressed it. Therefore the potential is already present in your life.

The practice asks that you notice how it feels to love which is a vital awareness that can lead you to becoming aware of the field of consciousness – the Energy that is love. Such Love does not require anything or anyone to focus upon it requires us to be the Energy.

Enjoy this practice.

Peace to you

Read transcript:

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Hello and welcome, I am Ellen Sutherland and here we are, being spiritual.

I thought I would do something different for us today. Instead of the usual quote that I offer, I thought that I would read to you from my book At Your Heart’s Pace, from an exercise on unconditional love. “Our Beloveds.”

My intention for offering a quote is to inspire, you and me – to inspire us and spur us on in our daily practice of being spiritual and this one is definitely a wonderful, uplifting exercise. So here we go. And, again, if any of you want to talk to me about this (exercise) or share your experience of this blog, or any of my blogs, please feel free to do so. The addresses are on my site, or here

Exercise 20, Unconditional Love: Our beloveds

How do others need to behave and act to-ward us before we will unconditionally love them? What do we want from them? Do we need them to respond to us in a particular way? We dread losing them and losing the love we believe we need. We dread being vulnerable to their rejection or indifference.

Uncomfortable feelings about love reveal our hidden expectations. These feelings provide the cue that we believe we need to get love from others. We have all been trained to believe that. And no matter how much I think I know otherwise, I am constantly bumping up against little leftover pieces of that, where I “need” somebody’s love. We are just unraveling those centuries, ‘life-long belief, that we need others to feel love.

Expecting, trying, wanting to get love from others serves only to reveal that we are unaware that we already have unending love within us. (It is wild out there (on the street) it is like the whole world is working. I don’t know if you can hear it.) To realize we have it, we practice aligning, vibrating, and expressing exactly like it. We discover it by modeling it. We can only be it when we erase what is contrary to it.

Consider giving love as though you were a sun. A sun does not require an additional source of light to fuel it, nor does it need light to be reflected back. Unconditional love is expressed as the sun shines. Our beloved ones, then, are revealed as a catalyst for a state already present.

Intention: Become aware of the presence of unconditional love.

Say, “May this be for the highest good.” That helps get our ego out of the way. For example, we should have certain results; it should look a certain way. But when we say we surrender it to the highest good we assume the highest good will come to us that looks.

This exercise asks you to observe and reveal your capacity to love unconditionally.

  • Bring to mind someone you adore. Notice how you feel when you bring them tomind. They may be your child or your children, your spouse or love partner. You may bring to mind a parent, grandparent, another family member, or a friend from your present or past. Be sure that it is someone with whom you can find little or no fault, someone whose flaws you can, and do, easily overlook. If you have no one like this in your life, choose an avatar such as Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, or a hero from history or from a novel. The intention is to get that love feeling fired up in you. If the thought of a beloved pet rises up, use it. I had a cat that would bring out incredible and potent love out of me. Pets are often a perfect example of unconditional love. Look for someone who brings out the energy and the feeling of unconditional love in you. Unconditional merely means you are extending love for long periods without thinking “I wish they were different than they are…I wish they hadn’t said that…If they would only be…” You overlook all that, because you love them.
  • Take note of how it feels when you express it. You are open, expansive, and above all, willing to overlook behaviors you would not normally overlook in another.

Perhaps your beloved is your child. Others may find them irritating, but to you they are growing and learning to navigate through life. Their selfish acts, their social errors, and their messes, come from being new and innocent. While you may guide and correct them, you can find no reason to withhold love.

Your special one may be a spouse or significant other. You do not care that they make extra work for you. It is your joy to do for them. You are not the least bit bothered that they expect you to take care of everything they do not like to do. It is of no consequence to you that they are occasionally inconsiderate of your feelings or time. They can do nothing that would make you withhold love, for any length of time. I know we can all have a momentary irritation, but it is gone because the love is bigger than that.

  • Take the time to watch when with your beloved. Just watch, notice, and hold the awareness of how you interact with these particular people or pets. Be aware of the feeling of being this love. Be aware of how it expresses through you.
  • Be aware when you overlook error and notice how you do it. Observe whether your expectation of the loved one(s) is different from those with whom you are neutral, indifferent, closed, or simply do not like.

Use your journal (you can download journal notes from my site if you do not have a journal of your own), or use your I-phone to note your observations. Jotting down what you notice it is very helpful to bring your observations into the physical awareness. Jot down what you notice practicing this exercise, by just bringing someone to mind and becoming aware of the times you feel this feeling in your life. It is most helpful to realize that you do and have loved unconditionally in some life situations.

The exercise has many aspects, many intentions, but mostly, as I said in the beginning, it is to help you realize that you do have this capacity (for unconditional love.) It is innate. It is what we are. You have the capacity to love like that. In spiritual life, as you move yourself up into the (field of) Love vibration, it is not particular anymore. That love is to be extended to everything and every one in every situation.

It seems like a vast, major, impossible challenge but it is very good to start it out knowing you have the capacity because you (already) do it in your life.

I hope that is helpful. I hope this is a good contemplation for you. Please consider letting me know how it works for you.

Peace to you.

About ellen

Ellen Sutherland shares her work through her sites:, and her book: "At Your Heart's Pace",
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4 Responses to Becoming Aware of Unconditional Love

  1. Tallin says:

    Wow, this is in every respect what I needed to know.

  2. Matty says:

    Wow, that’s a really clever way of thinking about it!

  3. I do believe we were born to be Christ like. we are under grace, to know is to walk it. We need more sharing that is such a gift. God is Love, and as we grow you start seeing how we treat eachother. Yet Love does not change,…Iam so greatful for the chance to give and expect nothing in return. For Jesus Christ showed it perfect.

Comments are closed.