You are not Your Emotions
“A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It’s jolted by every pebble on the road.”
– Henry Ward
We are told as spiritual people “on the path” that a sense of humor is more than helpful, it is necessary. Sometimes it seems that these helpful hints ensure further frustration and guilt. If we are not feeling full of joy, it can be quite difficult to shrug life off and find its humor. Life is not funny when we are hurting. When we address the hurt first, when we address those negative emotions, often the situation’s humor becomes obvious.
One way to deal with upset feelings is to dive into them. Blow them out of proportion. Exaggerate and gesticulate. Play them out like an opera. This exercise can help you to let them go.
Exercise: Not taking the personality seriously – we know not what we do.
If you are particularly stuck in a feeling, tell yourself you are going to exaggerate it. While doing so, it is most important that you have your inner witness turned on. That is the part of you that watches and observes. It is vitally important that you decide you will be blowing the event out of proportion. Acknowledging the exaggeration as your decision, allows you to keep the witnessing part of you clear about your intention.
Watch the feelings. Observe and notice what you are feeling. Seriously, you do not want to increase despair or helplessness. You do not want to throw yourself off a building. You do want to exaggerate the feeling, while you observe it. This shows you that you are (and always were) in control of it, though perhaps unaware you were.
It becomes obvious that you chose to resist and therefore, hold on to the negativity, and because you did not know you were doing this, you experienced being very stuck in it.
Next, ask yourself how much pain you are experiencing. On a scale of 0 (no pain) to 10 (the most pain you can imagine) choose the intensity of your feeling. Whatever it is, for example a 5 or 6, try to blow it up, perhaps to an 8 or 10. Attempt to increase the feeling to the fullest.
At the same time, realize that you are the one making it feel bigger. You choose to make the feeling feel larger. This helps you access all the suppressed emotional energy.
When you watch the emotion, you step outside the feeling and are no longer holding on to it, no longer resisting it. So merely tell yourself that you want to feel more of this feeling, more of this pain, more of this sadness. Tell yourself you want to wallow in the emotion. Tell yourself that you want to whine and howl and moan. Really get into it. All the while, stand away from the emotion and keep the watcher present in your awareness.
No longer will you dabble in your upset for days, months, or years, instead this magnifies the whole event and allows it to drain away, at once. This practice moves you from being victimized by your feeling to welcoming it. It is an empowering stance. It becomes immediately obvious that you are the one in control.
As you blow it up, you notice you no longer have anything to hold on to. The energy of the emotion comes to a climax – yep just like that climax – and because you choose to allow it freedom from suppression, it unravels and is released.
So, when you want to wallow, be honest and allow yourself to go for it!! Big time! Be the best wallower in the Universe. At the same time, be aware that you are making a choice to do so.
Shame, guilt, grief, fear, desire, anger, are low energy feelings which block the love you are. Such emotions are the result of being human. Such feelings are without LOVE. By using this technique, the self pity will melt away and you will end up in laughter, in joy, and in more compassion.
Now lift your head and look around at the rest of humanity wallowing in its negativity! This exercise helps you to open your heart in true compassion for the human race, who knows not what they do!
The final part of this exercise, asks you to discover what you truly want. Do you really want the feeling you just released or do you want peace? Do I want to be right and justified, or do you want to be peaceful and happy? It can be freeing to ask such questions. Ask kindly, from your heart, and accept the answers that arise.
When you held on to the negative emotions, the answers may be that, yes, you did want to be right; you did want to feel awful; you did want to hurt. Yet, without the negativity bottled up inside of you, your answers will be different. Freed from such emotion, what you truly want rises up. It is often accompanied with a head shake, a giggle or at least a smile.
Peace to you.
“Feelings only lie; they tell us we are going to get from releasing them, what we get from holding on to them.”
– Sedona Method